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NewsLaugh Exclusive! America May Become Nonaligned Nation. Cites Worldwide Ingratitude
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Added: 09/18/2006
Type: Summary
Viewed: 135 time(s)
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NewsLaugh Exclusive! America May Become Nonaligned Nation. Cites Worldwide Ingratitude
In this week’s free issue, NewsLaugh.com, The Sanely Funny Weekly Humor Magazine, reports that America may become a nonaligned nation. The principal motivation behind the movement is worldwide ingratitude for the sacrifices America has made for the benefit of other nations, while getting back precious little in return, materially or even in simple gratitude.
The members cite, for example, the summit of nonaligned nations in Cuba, where the attendees delighted to blow Cuban cigar smoke at the U. S.
The new movement, which traces its origins back to the will of the founding founders, who proclaimed that America should avoid permanent foreign entanglements, is preparing a new flag, much like the familiar Colonial rallying cry in cloth: "Don't Tread On Me." It is being sewn by a gifted seamstress in New England, named Victoria Albatross. The flag will highlight the sentiment of the movement, "Suckered In Never Again!"
The powers that divide Washington, stung by America’s series of military missteps abroad, have already begun to express private support for the innovative return of America to the sentiments of its founders and the entirely radical idea that its citizens actually may have a right to "life, liberty, and (of all things) the pursuit of happiness," instead of the wearisome and thankless burdens of trying to remake the world in our own image.
The movement, encouraged by the widespread early show of support, hopes to ask for a national referendum on the issue, even though its members are confident Gallup, Pew, and Zogby will announce the results several times before the actual election confirms their projection.
Other sanely funny features in this week’s free issue include:
* Israel Weighs Recognition of Palestine’s Right To Exist
* Quick Question: Does God Advocate Murder?
* Oui, Monsieur, The French Are Not Immune. Si, Signore, Even The Pope Must Do The Rope A Dope
* Senate Wonders If New Kind Of Warfare Requires New Rules; Forgets How Colonists Picked Off Redcoats
* The Invention Of Sex; An Eyewitness Account – Part One of The Invention of Everything. It’s our Spoof of the Week!
* Angry People Get More Heart Attacks; Nice People Delighted
Readers may also subscribe to NewLaugh's free weekly newsletter for exclusive laughs and offers.
Each week, NewsLaugh.com presents humorous weekly articles under such headings as Sanely Funny Cover Story, Dreadline of the Week, Shreditorial, Washington Spin Din, Clever Monkey of the Week, and a Spoof of the Week.
About Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com:
Mr. Attea has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his comedy writing, "delightfully funny," "witty," with "great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs."
He was awarded a grant as a playwright by New York’s Theater For The New City and co-wrote the first feature film Showtime produced.
He has extensive experience in news media. He wrote the recent campaign for The New York Sun, New York’s new broadsheet newspaper, "Illuminate Your World," the classic campaign for Time Magazine, "There’s never been a greater need for understanding," and the long-running theme for The Village Voice, "In this city, you need a Voice." In broadcast media, he wrote the advertising that successfully introduced Lifetime television, "There’s nothing like a woman’s Lifetime," and oversaw all the advertising for WABC TV and radio in New York.
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The complete issue is available at www.newslaugh.com
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